Write 5 pages thesis on the topic the concept of the true self. By his life and deeds, he showed us that society could never make one bend to its whims when one truly knows oneself and acts according to those beliefs. Most individuals today rarely know what their passions, strengths, weaknesses, eccentricities and interests are. Society has conditioned us to suppress what we truly are inside, and as a result, we end up voicing opinions, knowledge, and concepts that we have acquired from our environment. Oscar Wilde O clearly articulates this, the famous poet, when he said, “Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation”. Therefore, this essay seeks to explore some of the reasons people fear to be themselves, which include childhood conditioning, fear of rejection, fear of judgment and criticism, to gain favor from those they feel will help them achieve certain goals and lack of self-confidence.

Childhood conditioning is the major cause of hidden identity. According to Cooper, Oliver, “As a child, one is vulnerable and dependent on their caregivers. So at this age, one would not have much control and would desperately seek the approval and appetence of the people around them.” Caregivers include parents, guardians or relatives involved in the upbringing of a child. These people have a big impact on the perceptions, views, behavior and patterns of thought children develop as they grow. Children look up to them for guidance and are expected to follow the directions given to them without question. They learn early in their lives that any defiance will be met with punishment, whereas obedience will earn them praise, love and gifts. A false sense of self begins to develop in infancy and continues throughout childhood as a defense mechanism against an unsafe environment.

Consequently, children’s potential and creativity go unnoticed, and we learn early in life to please other people and live up to their expectations at the expense of our dreams and passions. We are conditioned to believe that expressing whom we are hardly beneficial, and since we are deeply in need of love and attention, we submit to our parents’ whims and lose our sense of self. According to Winnicott, D. W., “Other people’s expectations can become of overriding importance, overlaying or contradicting the original sense of self, the one connected to the very roots of one’s being” (140-152). Secondly, fear of rejection is another key cause of hiding one’s true self. This is clearly illustrated in the novel by Nora Roberts titled The Witness, where Elizabeth followed her mother’s directions, including mode of dressing, type of meal to consume, and friends to keep. Also, she forced her to take up a medical career that she did not want to.