Thanks for giving us the opportunity to provide feedback on your paper. After reading and marking down some responses, my overall impression is that your essay is generally well-structured and organized; the main issues were a number of grammatical or wording errors on the individual sentence level.
I noticed and pointed out several instances of unnecessary words, which can make your sentences clunky or distract from their purpose, as well as many cases of the passive voice. You also have a habit of saying “got” when you should be saying “was” or “were” (i.e. “got destroyed”); I fixed these instances for you, but it’s something to keep an eye on in the future, as it tends to make the writing sound somewhat unserious. In some cases I simply didn’t know what you were trying to say, and marked these as “unclear” for you to rework. Finally, I also fixed a few small issues (simple typos or misspellings) on my own as I went through the document.
If you have any questions, feel free to let me know, and thanks again for making use of our service!
I attached the writing center file after their notes please focus on APA Style and in-text citation
Please check it again and try to meet their notes.
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