1. Revision of the letter giving it an objective tone. Goal: To make Payroll, in a professional manner, understand that I did not receive my check.

 

Bill

Imagine Solutions

Sales Department

Cell: 23231

 

Payroll

Sales Manger

Imagine Solutions

 

Dear Payroll,

RE: CHECK DEALY.

I am writing to inform you that I have so far not received my check for the past month. From the past experience, I appreciate and recognize that your department works very hard to ensure that the checks are processed to reach the customers early. Indeed the service from your side has been remarkable. Since only an unavoidable circumstance can prevent you from processing the checks in time, I hope and pray that nothing to worry about has befallen any of your staff.

I would kindly like to inform you that this employment is the only form of income I rely on to meet my monthly expenses. Some of these expenses like rents are set on a deadline basis and breaching them comes with consequences. Apart from such, there are a couple of other expenses that rely on the same kitty. The matter is, therefore, urgent and of great importance.

Following up the issues with the speed it requires will be very beneficial and highly appreciated. I am looking forward for your response.

 

Yours faithfully,

Bill.

 

2. Revision of the paragraph to make it less than 20 words.

The company postponed the picnic due to the weather report. Your company counts. Attendees should leave their assigned dishes.

3. Revision of the letter removing sexist language and making it more professional.

Dear Ms. Fortin,

As you may be aware, it is the responsibility of every nurse to clock in at the start of their shift. This is to make sure that when a doctor comes in an emergency situation, they are able to know who the available nurses are. Any nurse who may not be able to follow this rule may be reported to their supervisor. This may lead to dismissal of the nurse. The contract for employment of the nurses has all these details. Kindly, note that it is not right for doctors to be troubling themselves with small issues like this one.

Yours faithfully,

Mr. Pratt.

4. Revision of the paragraph changing passive voice to active voice.

Every family should take a long summer vacation. One needs to relax in order to stay healthy. Also, to vacate brings families closer together. They provide an opportunity to experience the American culture. Spots like colonial Williamsburg teach them history and entertain them when they make trips to the place. They should not spend another boring summer in front of a computer. You should hit the open road so as to reinvigorate your life.