The knowledge that we are being valued in the workplace will impact our behavior. It will impact us positively when we hear it from others. The language of regard is an expression of how we value the efforts or contribution of another person.

The default mode is indirect and non specific. It is the usual way of communicating at work but it’s not a very powerful way of communicating. There are shortcomings in this way of communicating.

The language of ongoing regard is the genuine way of expressing our value of a coworker’s behavior. This is broken down into facets namely appreciation and admiration. Appreciation allows us to communicate the value that we have received.

Both admiration and appreciation can be used in a more powerful manner. One essential way is being direct where communication is done directly to the person, but using a third person pronoun. This will not only impact the person to whom the communication is being directed but to other listeners as well.

Another way in which admiration and appreciation can be more powerful is being specific. Being specific will place more emphasis on the person giving the appreciation rather than on the person being appreciated. It is more powerful to focus on the specific quality that is being admired or appreciated. Being specific can benefit the speaker as well into doing some introspection.

A third way of allowing appreciation and admiration to be more powerful is to make the communication non attributive. Usually one makes general descriptions in communicating appreciating and admiration. Telling someone about his qualities or characteristics is not effective. It doesn’t allow the person to recognize the value. A more effective method would be to communicate to the person in such a way so as to relate your experience gained from his actions.

In communication, it is felt that it is more useful to speak in the first person rather than in the second person when we are communicating negative experiences. When the first person is used the listener is placed in a passive position. The same holds true for communicating positive experiences. In using the second person there is a lack of sincerity and originality. Ongoing reward shows our experience of the person and not about the persons themselves.

Words are very powerful in the field of communication. They are capable of influencing our thoughts, feelings, and inter personal relationships. Words can be misinterpreted according to the context, cultural setting and even by gender differences.

Words communicate a literal meaning as well as a subjective and personal meaning and are more precise if they have a concrete rather than an abstract meaning. They have the power to evoke negative reactions as well as to be used for positive actions.

Non verbal communication is also very powerful and although it lacks spoken language can have huge impact on our interpersonal relationships. A person’s true feelings are easier transmitted through non verbal cues although they can be ambiguous at times. The interpretation of non verbal cues is also influenced by culture.

Eye contact serves as an important function in non verbal communication. Vocal cues such as laughter also help in the communication process. Non verbal cues can be interpreted along the lines of immediacy, arousal and dominance. The chance of interpreting non verbal clues correctly is greater with persons more familiar to us.

Bebee, S. A, Bebee, S.J, & Redmond, M.V. (2008) Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others. (5th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Kegan, R. & Lahey, L.L. (2001). How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work: Seven Languages for Transformation.