Negative Effects of Divorce on Children

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Negative Effects of Divorce on Children

Married people legally separate, which is otherwise known as divorce, based on various reasons. Indeed, there is no sure way to identify the most serious reasons behind the divorce, but some cases occur more than others. Infidelity, for instance, is a common cause of divorce in the society. Other reasons as to why people divorce in marriages includes money problems, emotional disconnection between the couples, dishonesty and lack of proper family planning (Solinger, n.d.). As such, many couples have at least a reason as to why they would decide to go on separate ways. Amid all the divorce processes, there are victims who often suffer in silence, the children. Based on the information gathered from my research, I choose to talk about the negative effects of divorce on children. My interest is to determine whether children are affected by divorce or not, regardless of its form, whether on a mutual basis, peacefully or violently between the divorcees.

Mary Ann Lamanna and Agnes Riedmann, in their book Marriages & Families expound on various links that make couples get married. For example, they talk about couples getting into a legally binding relationship for companionship and form a family with children (Lamanna and Riedmann, 2008). Therefore, they either bear children or adopt them to form a family. At first, to me this is a wonderful gesture, but the things that happen once trouble sets in become questionable. Most parents, at this point, focus on relinquishing anger on their ex-spouses, for those who end their marriage in bitterness, and winning as much property as they can from the relationship. Hence, I question, where are the links that had initially brought the couple together to an extent of getting married? There other disturbing issues upon understanding the troubles that divorce ensues are the parents still considerate about their children? As such, children are left to face the aftermath of the separation, which may be favorable or extensively hurting at times. These form the two most probable effects that children face following a divorce. However, I understand that a rare case may happen where the children are not affected by the situation directly. These are cases where the children are either young to comprehend the divorce situation or they ignore the occurrence, which is exceptionally rare (Clarke-Stewart and Brentano, 2007). Such children end up being affected indirectly by the divorce, for example, they may end up living with one of the two parents who is financially incapable of fulfilling their economic needs. Subsequently, they suffer since their needs are not met (Knox and Schacht, 2011). It is clear to me that children are bound to negative effects either directly or indirectly once their parents finalize the divorce process.

I also learnt from literature that a probable effect of divorce on children is happiness. Some marriages have parents who are abusive to the children, or spouses that hurt each other. Thus, this is a hostile environment that children dread living in while their parents are still together. Chances are that the children experience emotional or physical pain inflicted by the parents as they fight (Hansen, 2013). Other parents are careless and do not cater for their children, which often leads to negative impacts on the young ones. Children are often emancipated from such situations once their parents undergo a divorce. For example, if the judge grants the reasonable parent custody of the children, the young ones live in a favorable environment. Moreover, the children’ physical and emotional health is restored once in the hands of a caring and responsible parent. This is an exceptional case, but it is within my knowledge from the sources used that such children will still face negative effects of divorce. For example, a motherly or fatherly figure is an important factor for the children to have in the house. Once they are denied this aspect through the divorce, they most likely miss it. In turn, they turn to strange behavior, for example, they become violent and hostile when around other children (Harvey and Fine, 2010). This begs another vital question as to whether a much-needed divorce in a family ends up inflicting positive effects on children or not?

Sources used also informed me that sometimes spouses divorce on mutual grounds and their marriage problems do not affect their children. Is this entirely correct about the claim concerning the marriage institutions? In such a case, the children face distressing moments because of the effect divorce has on them. Firstly, they face a dilemma in choosing the parent they want to live with after completion of the divorce process (Solinger, n.d.). In cases where the married spouses kept things from their young ones, it is essentially difficult for the children to decide the parent they will follow to their homes. Although, a parent winning custody of the children lifts the deciding burden from the young ones, there are chances that the law will force them to live with the parent they do not want. Consequently, the children suffer because they are forced to live in an uncomfortable environment. Divorce at times exposes children to psychological problems because they are unable to accept the situations surrounding their families (Gibbons, 1986). As such, I have established that divorce, regardless of its reasons or grounds of its occurrence, has profoundly adverse effects on children. This is conclusively determined via the resources used in the above research.

References

Clarke-Stewart, A. & Brentano,C. (2007). Divorce: Causes and consequences. Connecticut: Yale University Press.

Foulkes-Jamison, L. (2013). The effects of divorce on children. Retrieved on 22 Oct. 2013 from http://cpancf.com/articles_files/efffectsdivorceonchildren.asp

Gibbons, J. (1986). Children’s mental health : Problems and services. Washington: DIANE Publishing.

Hansen, L. (2013). “9 Negative effects divorce reportedly has on children”. The Week. Retrieved 23 on Oct. 2013 from http://theweek.com/article/index/242059/9-negative-effects-divorce-reportedly-has-on-children

Harvey, J. & Fine, M. (2010). Children of divorce: Stories of loss and growth. Massachusetts: Routledge.

Knox, D. & Schacht, C. (2011). Choices in relationships: An introduction to marriage and the family. California: Cengage Learning.

Lamanna, M. & Riedmann, A. (2008). Marriages & families: Making choices in a diverse society: Making choices in a diverse society. California: Cengage Learning.

Solinger, J. (n.d.) The negative effects of divorce on children.Retrieved on 23 Oct. 2013 from http://www.public.iastate.edu/~rhetoric/105H16/cova/jlscova.html