1. I can’t ask my friends for favors when I need their help.
2. I can’t discipline my daughter without becoming angry.
3. I can’t say “no” when my boss asks me to work overtime.
4. I can’t address employees directly or clearly when corrective action is needed.
5. I can’t stop coming across as sarcastic in my conversations with others.
6. I can’t keep my staff focused on the discussion at hand during meetings.
7. I can’t accept constructive criticism without becoming defensive.

When you have completed your list, describe each “I can’t” behavior in detail (1-2 paragraphs each), and provide examples to illustrate why you included each behavior in this list.

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“I can’t say no to a family member if he or she asks for my help.”

Unless I have a really good excuse, I can’t say no when a family member asks me to do something. Even though I often feel like I am being taken advantage of, I still feel obligated to help. Our family is very close and we do a lot of things for each other, but my family members tend to ask me to do the things that nobody else wants to do or is willing to do. It has become expected that I will do the things that others will not.

Last week, I used a vacation day and cancelled personal plans on two separate days to tend to family business. On Tuesday, I took my grandmother to the doctor for an outpatient surgical procedure because my mother had an important business meeting that day. On Saturday, I cancelled a dinner with old friends to look after my three-year-old niece so that my brother and sister-in-law could celebrate their anniversary.