the clip that I chose is ”

Hello Out There [U.S.]                        ,,,,and the secondary TXT is

“love is more thicker than forget” by e.e. cummings – poem .pdf   [U.S.]

its the final draft revised 

The long essay you will write for the class will be a literary analysis paper focused on one play of your choice. This original idea will be developed by drawing on a secondary text of your choice. 

WHAT NEED TO BE RVISED IS ” MLA FORMAT

You have some minor formatting issues, which might be the fault of your computer (titles should appear in italics, for example, and not in brackets). But the MLA heading on page 1 looks good. You do not need to identify the categories of information. Instead of typing “Name: ” and then having your name, for example, you should just list your name. 

THESIS

Your first paragraph offers interesting information, but there is a problem here: you cite another writer (Balakian), and you tell the reader what Balakian thinks, but you do not tell the reader what YOU think. You can agree with Balakian, but you are not allowed to merely agree–you must add something to the discussion. Otherwise there is no point in writing the paper. So think about what it is you wish to say that Balakian has not yet said about the play, and make that new idea clear to the reader.

At the end of the first page you raise an interesting question: What prevents love between people in society? This is a good question. You are now responsible for giving the reader your thoughts as you attempt to answer this question yourself. 

You must track the progression of your own thought process, or else the reader will not be able to do that for you. 

At the bottom of page two going into page three, you mention lonliness but do not explain how lonliness connects to the idea of preventing love. Then you talk about money. Still there is no explanation of how money prevents people from loving each other, or what money has to do with the idea of loneliness. 

You seem to suggest by the end of the paper that desire for money, or the feeling that money will fix our problems, is the cause of us not loving one another, but you need to walk yourself through what that process actually is in order to explain it clearly to the reader.”

And its not complate 5 pages if you can add on it to be 5 complate pages and FINALLY THIS 

Here are the citations you need for your essays. Please copy and paste the citations you are using into your Works Cited page.