How a Group Leader Would Deal with an Uncomfortable Group Member

In almost all groups, there are enormous problems that do emerge directly affecting all or some of the group members. It is, therefore, essential to look for ways of identifying such problems and trying as much as possible to solve the problems in order to effectively manage the group. Most problems in groups are caused by group members and includes; monopoly of some group members, intolerant members, members who seduce other group members, resistant members, among others. This section explores ways in which a group leader would address the issue of a hostile member who wants to leave the group and work independently.

As the group leader, I would like to state that, in a group, decisions should be collectively made such that each member’s decision is respected by the other members. In case, a member shows opposition to the group, there are a number of steps that a group leader would follow in order to solve the problem.

In our group, we have had problems with one of our members over the last few months. For the purpose of confidentiality, I would not like to disclose his names, but indeed, he has decided to leave our group and start working alone. After a close examination, as a group leader, I have realized that the member may have personal problems which may be forcing him to move out of the group. This has come to my mind after exploring the various possibilities that may make him leave the group. However, I have noticed no single abnormality in the group and therefore concluded that his exit could possibly be as a result of personal problems, as I have indicated above.

In order to avoid his exit, the group members, who have full knowledge of the situation, have been at the forefront, trying to encourage him to remain in the group, as he has been an asset to the group. However, this has proven futile, because up to now, the hostile member still insists that he must move out of the group. Despite his resistance, I have personally looked at other possibilities of his hostility and realized that the members’ approach in solving the problem is quite faulty. In an effort to validate this, the members forcefully demanded that he should frankly outline the cause of his exit to members in the subsequent group meeting. Indeed, I felt offended, and decided to do the following in an aid to solve the problem.

Over the last one week, I have been analyzing the problem and indeed realized that there is a problem that is bothering the member and that is the reason why he needs to move out of the group. After a clear observation, I have noted a difference in terms of interactions in the group. In fact, I was told that the member had a relationship with one of the group member but due to personal differences, the relationship no longer subsists.

It was only yesterday that I humbly called for a meeting and fortunately, all group members turned up for the meeting. During the meeting, I raised the issue but never specified the actual problem. Certainly, this was a very crucial step toward solving the problem since all the members adequately participated in the discussion. In fact, a majority of the members highlighted the importance of group work including the hostile member. In order to back the importance of group work, the group members shared their personal experiences and indeed this could have had a crucial impact on the resistant member’s decision. In case the member changes his stand and promises to remain in the group, then I would have won the game. However, if he remains static, then I will have to follow other crucial steps in our subsequent meetings. Perhaps the member will choose the latter, as his decision, and in case this is so, I will have to select a small committee within the group, where the hostile member could share his feelings. However, I am at loss, in deciding the members who will be in the committee but, a prominent counselor in town told me that, I should select his close friends whom they can freely share ideas. Indeed, I think this is a very prudent idea having originated from a prominent and qualified counselor, who has possibly assisted many individuals with chronic problems than the one in our group.

Without any more delays, I have decided to select the committee members in collaboration with the secretary to the group who will really assist me in choosing the hostile member’s real friends. In order to achieve, I have personally called the secretary and she has informed me that she will send me an email indicating the friends to the said member. I am waiting for the message from the secretary and the moment this information reaches me, I will personally call the members for a sub meeting when I will inform them of their mandates. From the past cooperation that they have depicted, I am pretty sure that they will be willing to assist the member change his mind for his own benefits.

For a successful problem solving process, I do expect the members to give me with adequate feedback so that I can monitor and evaluate the progress. In line with this, I will request the members to be prudent enough while getting information from the member. This is after the failure that was depicted the other day after the members tried to directly confront him in the presence of all the other members. Indeed, I will let the selected committee understand that I am interested in good results and nothing less than that. However, I am not hard on this, because if the member insists that he leaves, I will have no other alternative other than letting him go. On the other hand, if he decides to remain in the group, I will have to evaluate his stay in the group. Perhaps, if he will portray any negative impacts in the group, I will allow him or his ex-partner leave us in peace. However, the ultimate decision will be communicated to all the other group members and I do promise to follow the same procedure in solving problems for the good of our group.

Challenging Issues

There are a number of challenging issues that affect the modern society including abortion, homosexuality and sexual abuse. Indeed, human life is extremely valuable, and even most cultures and religions do value life such that they are against all those activities that would endanger human life. Abortion is one of such activities that ruin human life. It is the act of intentionally stopping human pregnancy or any other efforts including surgically removing the foetus from the woman’s womb. Abortion assuredly is an outrage that may cause human race to extinct (Hauspie, 2004).

The issue of abortion and other issues affecting human lives have been discussed in our group for months now. The group is still discussing on other two issues including homosexuality and sexual abuse. The group members were especially very bitter when the issue of abortion was raised. I was, personally surprised to realize that all the group members do value human life and that no one member would advise his or her friend to do abortion. In fact, most members said that they were willing to sue those conducting such activities in courts of law. This is after a clear understanding that abortion has negative side effects on human life. “To the extremes, abortion may cause death due to excess bleeding,” one of the members said.

After a two hours’ engagement in the group discussion, I was very happy to get positive views from the members and I really congratulated them for portraying respect on human life.

Secondly, homosexuality has become extremely intense across the globe, and in particular, some cultures and religions have legalized it and, therefore, allow gay marriages. This issue is currently being discussed in our group. Similarly, the members have depicted a negative attitude towards homosexuality. I realized this after the members strongly opposed the issue of gay marriages that is rampant in almost all parts in the world.

As a group leader, I also oppose the presence of gay marriages which may cause homosexuality. Indeed, homosexuality has felt side effects in human lives including contraction of HIV and AIDS which may be caused as a result of promiscuity among homosexuals.

Thirdly, there is the issue of sexual abuse which takes the proper form of rape, which may even occur in the group. Some members may sexually abuse other group members. In our group, the members have highly opposed this practice and most of them believe that this is a form of evil. In fact, I happen to lead people who condone any form of wrongdoing. I suspect that the hatred that exists between two of our group members could have been as a result of attempted date rape and that is why one of the members wishes to withdraw from the group. However, I am not sure that this could be the cause but I am yet to investigate and if this is so, then I will take appropriate actions for the good of our group. Despite my suspicion, I think the group members may not involve themselves in such vices having informed them of the negative effects closely related to attempted rape.

However, I would not rule out the occurrence of such a vice. In case it happens in our group, I would strongly encourage outside relationships. In line with this, I would make the members know that genuine relationships require understanding between the parties involved. With such an understanding, sexual abuse may be significantly reduced if not at all eradicated.

In case where there is sexual abuse between two members, then I would not ignore the situation and therefore would talk to those involved and inform them on the side effects of sexual abuse. However, if the situation is chronic, then I would consider removing one of the members of the group since; with prolonged stay in the group, then the progress of the group would be significantly affected.

The ending process in a group may assist to minimize previous conflicts that have been rampant in the group. In fact, termination of a group provides an avenue for change and even growth where members can now start working as individuals and not as a group. In the ending process, the individual member gets an opportunity to practice new behaviors, which were absent in the group.

In order to end a group, I would discuss the issue with other members of the group and make them realize that the termination of such a group is not the end of life. In line with this, I would encourage members to apply the skills learnt in the group, in their future pursuits. In addition, I would make the members appreciate the importance of group work as opposed to individual work. In this case, I would encourage the group members to join other groups in the future so as to work as a team.

In case, a participant is referred to an ongoing service a trustworthy counselor would refer the participant to another therapist. In so doing, the counselor helps the participant to get new information from other therapists. This is in line with the old English adage that states that change is like rest. Alternatively, the counselor would refer the participant to another group.

In conclusion, it would be wise to suggest that group work do assist individuals in virtually all walks, in life. However, in order to ensure that it serves its purpose, I should encourage cooperation among members so that they move in the same direction towards their ultimate goal. In addition, I should ensure that the challenging issues are properly handled so as not to interfere with the progress of the group. Lastly, it is prudent to ensure that appropriate steps are followed when terminating a group.

References

Hauspie, L. A. (2004). Columbia Encyclopedia. Columbia: Columbia University Press.