1.) Does the essay have a clear main point? If so, what is the thesis of this paper? Yes. The thesis is “A significant group of leafy plants is nutritious and eating them can greatly improve the physical well being of an individual (Pollan).”

2.)      Is the one that we read about in Michael Pollan’s Food Rules? If not, alert the writer to this fact. Yes, the essay is about rule #22 in Pollan’s book.

3.) Does the writer incorporate at least three (3) outside sources, including Pollan’s Food Rules, to elucidate his opinion on the subject? Yes the writer has a total of three outside sources including Pollan’s book.

4.)   Does the writer use adequate and relevant direct quotations and/or paraphrase key concepts, expert testimony, statistics, etc. to support her main points? Are there places where more support is necessary? If so, please point out specific areas needed further support. Yes and no. The writer paraphrase most of her sources however more direct quotes should be used to strengthen the essay. More support is needed in the second paragraph. Since the writer says statistics indicate that plant foods have fewer side effects then specific statistics should be provided. Statistic is a powerful argument tool that cannot be denied.  

5.)    Are important ideas accurately and concisely paraphrased (using the writer’s own words)? If there are long direct quotations that do not warrant direct quoting, please remind the writer to paraphrase this information.

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 Yes, important ideas do seem to be paraphrased correctly.

6.)      Are individual paragraphs logically organized, with topic sentences, transition words, and concluding sentences? No. There seems to be 8 small body paragraphs and some of the paragraphs talk about similar things so they can be combined together to make longer and more effective paragraphs. There is a lack of transition between the paragraphs. The essay seems to be “chunky” and the paragraphs do not connect and flow with one another. Not enough transition words are used. Yes, each paragraph does have their own topic sentence that helps lead the reader into the paragraph.

7.)   Is the essay organized in a logical fashion, with each paragraph advancing our knowledge without repetition or circling back on ideas already covered? No. The ideas of some of the paragraphs are somewhat repetitive. The second and third paragraph can be somewhat combine similar with the fifth and sixth paragraph because the ideas of these paragraphs are so similar.

8.)   Is borrowed material introduced (contextualized)? Does it blend in seamlessly with the writer’s words? No, this is the area the writer should work on. Pollan, Bess, Shanahan, and Luke are cited in the in-text citation but we do not know who they are.

9.)    Is all borrowed material accurately cited? Is there a works cited list? Is the essay properly formatted? Yes and no. The Works Cited page is formatted correctly but when Pollan is cited, there is no page number reference attached.  

10.) Does it appear the essay has been carefully proofread for errors in grammar & mechanics? If you believe the writer would benefit from additional assistance from a Writing Lab tutor, please encourage him or her to make an appointment. There are some mechanical and grammar errors throughout the essay.  the introduction paragraph seems very scattered and choppy. Some of the things in that paragraph do not connect. 

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