Healthy Grief
Name
Institution
Healthy Grief
Grief is a normal and natural response when human beings experience loss. It is triggered by a number factor such as death of a close friend or family member, end of a relationship or even disappointment that is brought about by an anticipated success that suddenly closes. It is thus necessary. Therefore, health grieving results in the ability to remember the importance of losses but with a new sense of peace. However, when people allow others to help them confront their grief, they are able to keep a balance of life. People can have joy even when experiencing health grief by integrating joy and sorrow in their lives.
Elisabeth Kubler- Ross came up with different methods to support and counsel people when they are in trauma, distress, grief and grieving connected with death losses (Kübler-Ross & Kessler, 2005). She came up with the ‘Five Stages of Grief’ model. According to her, the grief cycle is the change model to aid individuals understand and counsel personal reaction to trauma not only in death.
The five grieving stages as classified by Elisabeth Kubler Ross are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. When the above five stages are compared with Job in the Bible, he is seen to have gone through some of the stages (Boyer, 2009). Job was a faithful friend of God, who endured a loss due to Satan’s medalling.
Denial is the first stage in which an individual fails to accept the situation. They use it as a defence mechanism, which is a natural reaction. Unfortunately, some are unable to unlock themselves out of this. In Job’s case in the Bible, we see that at first he denied the situation and kept his faith in God though the situations seemed worse and not working out. His faith kept him going.
The second stage is anger. The person is either angry at themselves or other people. This is meant to help keep detached and failing to judge when in anger. We see Job being angry with his friends in the Bible. “He burned with anger also at Job’s three friends because they had found no answer, although they had declared Job to be in the wrong” (Job 32:3 English Standard Version).
In the bargaining stage, people involved with death try to negotiate with God, whom they believe in. When the grief is less complicated, they negotiate or even try and compromise. This negotiation rarely offers a solution. While Job had tried to keep his faith, we see a situation where he starts to complain and bargain with God. He was a man who went through grief complaining, lamenting and questioning God and friends without pretence that all was well. He was afflicted right from the ownership of property to losing his children and finally his own body was afflicted. He considered himself of little importance but demanded to know from God where he had gone wrong.
In the case of depression, which is also referred to as preparatory grieving, a person seems to accept though emotionally grieved. They become unhappy and uncertain. We see Job being uncertain about the future. He becomes depressed since everything had been taken away from him.
The last stage of healthy grief which is acceptance, it varies from one person to the other. The person detaches from the challenge emotionally. People dying enter into this stage before the ones being left. Comparing to Job in the Bible, we later on see him wondering whether God was just, since He had taken too long to respond. He became sad and lamented so much. In the long run, Job seems to be in the last stage. He eagerly waited for his grave. He wanted to die.
The second religious story with the stages of grief is the story of Naomi. Naomi, in the Bible also experienced grief. After the loss of her husband and sons, she went into denial she could not believe that she had lost her sons and husband. She regretted having gone to Moab, which is a clear indication of anger. She starts bargaining with God and her daughters in-law. She tells her daughters the she is not in a position to give birth to other sons to make them husbands. As she kisses them good bye she cries and moans, definitely expressing the depression that had been gnawing her heart, finally she accepts her situation when she tells people back in Bethlehem “Don’t call me Naomi, … “Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter (Ruth 1: 20. English Standard Version).
When grief is compared with joy, one has no joy or happiness when they are in health grief, although we can grief and be happy (Moore, 2010). With time, people discover that grief and joy can be carried together for their good, and they appreciate grief since God created emotions. People should be allowed to grief and in time the grief becomes lighter and they are able to be happy again. Some end up saying that, after all, grief worked out for their good. The research has, however,changed my own way of thinking since I have learned that we can have joy amidst our grief.
Grief is a common occurrence in human life. When people encounter a loss, they go through a grieving period. During this period, they go through various stage of grieve and then fully recover. Grieving has also been captured in religious texts. The story of Job’s pain is a timeless example. Grieving is the opposite of joy since people experience no joy during their grieving period.
References
Boyer, M. C. (2009). Job’s grief: Bargaining and despair. Retrieved from http://www.gsbchurch.com/Sermons/2009_10_18_JobsGriefBargainingDespair.pdf
Kübler-Ross, E., & Kessler, D. A. (2005).On grief and grieving: Finding the meaning of grief through the five stages of loss. New York: Simon and Schuster.
Moore, Lori A. (2010). Missing Andy: The journey from grief to joy.Tate Pub & Enterprises Llc.
Jermaine Byrant
Nicole Johnson
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RATING
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