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Content/ Organization/ Style/ Technicalities

Overall Goal

My overall goal is to understand the impact of Corona-virus on the lives of the infected people in China, as well as the people around them.

Relevant Feedback 

A peer suggested that I should specify the method of sample collection, together with the demographics of my sample population in the research provides complete information on the aim of the research. Also, explaining the reason for choice of the sample population is appropriate, therefore, I should mention the reason for the choice of sample group.

Content

My Overall Goal

This essay focuses on the impact of coronavirus on the lives of individuals affected and also the family and friends of infected population. The population in China is having physical, psychological and health effects that affect their normal activities and operations. People are suffering from health effects of the disease, have fear of the future and is affecting their mental state due to lack of peace of mind. I touch on both of these giving a brief summary so the reader could get a sense of where the information was coming from.  I explain this throughout the essay, mentioning their opinion.

Relevant Feedback

Feedback: A rating form 1-5, 5 being the most successful writing paper. I would rate this intro and conclusion a one. This is because they did not give a detailed background for their discourse community as well, they did not mention the position they are in from this community.

Provide a critique and question. You presented your observation without explicitly attempting to argue against, find a gap, raise a question, or continue a tradition.

Remove rhetorical questions. So, right here I felt like as a reader I was left hanging. When writing an essay, if you ask questions you want to answer them as you ask them and make it obvious that you are answering those questions.

Name articles, authors and page numbers. The author included three different sources and analyzed their information, but does not introduce the name of the article. I was a bit confused by this.

Provide reason for analyzing the specific group. I am kind of curious about why you want to research this particular group of people.

Organization

My Overall Goal

For the research, I choose to write on a point by point method that is by mentioning one impact and how it affects the population, followed by another. A reviewer stated that my introduction requires a description of the reason for the choice of the topic and the sample population. Hence, I need to fix the introduction.

Structure- The structure of my essay is fine for the most part, i just need to do some moving around so things make more sense. Doing point by point helped me organize my thoughts by grouping ideas together.  – Organize thoughts                                                                                                                                                              

Relevant Feedback

For the collection of data, I think I should include an alternative method of data collection and storage so that incase one fails, I will have another to help in getting the required information.

Style

My Overall Goal

Provide a style of writing that is understandable to audience and easy flow of information and ideas. This includes the explanation of the context, method of data collection, analysis and lastly the discussion to provide the series of information required.

Relevant Feedback

The method is appropriate for the research. Just ensure there is full information for each category of the research.

Technicalities

My Overall Goal

My main struggle may be my In-text citations, i need to spend more time making sure the little things are correct so it doesn’t hurt my grade. fixing my citations and adding a work cited page will also be another major step i take in completing my essay.

Relevant Feedback

The author included three different sources and analyzed their information, but does not introduce the name of the article. I was a bit confused by this. Therefore, I need to include the incite citations and page numbers of the author articles.