Special Issues Of Grieving The Death Of A Sibling

The loss of a sister or a brother is sometimes very much neglected and has not been discussed exhaustively. It is however a loss that most of people experience. This is because when it comes to the parents, every individual has one father and one mother and also one spouse. When it comes to brothers and sisters, people could have as many as possible. The social expectation in life is that the death of a sister or a brother is unlikely to disturb our lives. It is however noted that some people may not have had any contact with real brothers and sisters. People have really failed in appreciating the importance of siblings (Silverman et al, p1, 2001). This paper aims at highlighting the issues that arise with the process of grieving a sibling’s death.

Every family has a special history together with shared bonds on the history. Immediately a sibling dies the shattered bonds in the history of the family become shattered and there is a hole in the family history which is never again filled. As children grow, they possess certain talents and characteristics. Siblings will always have a tendency to compliment one another as they develop interest on various areas. The siblings who survive after the demise of one have to redefine certain roles due to absence of the person (Silverman et al, p1, 2001).

The moment a sibling dies, the special occasions change. The birthday celebrations, holidays and anniversaries will be forgotten. Phone calls to share best moments will also be no more.

When there is death of a sibling in a family, there could be increased concern on one’s own death. This is because the siblings have similar genetic traits. The brothers and sisters left could have implications on their own demise. This means they start seeing themselves as being the next, the time they will die among other things. This may lead to stress and suffering especially when one reaches the age of the sibling who died.

There is anger as the siblings left have to take up new roles such as taking care of the aging parents among others. Others take up the responsibility of raising the nephews who have been left behind. All these among others could lead to anger due to the loss of the sibling.

On the other hand, going with the relationship a person had with the sibling who has died and the manner in which the sibling died; grief could follow which may even lead to death. Some people even have experienced guilt. This is brought about by the sibling’s relationship and ambivalence as well as the feeling one has in reference to the understanding that one might have.

The adult siblings are also bound to expect survivor guilt which is normal. The brothers and sisters possess relationship in which they aim at protecting one another even if they are far from each other (Willis, p222, 2002). Guilt on the way the siblings maintained their relationship is also evident. The adult siblings change their relationship due to the various separate paths each follows. Even thought the relationship and communication was well maintained, the person left still feels that it could have been better.

In conclusion therefore, people mourning the death of a sibling require a lot of attention. Some of them will try to speak out what they feel with friends and family members. Some people offer them support which is very important (Hosley & Terrance, p126. 2006). When an individual comes across another person who has lost a sibling, this provides an opportunity for sharing which leads to healing.

Work Cited

Horsley, Heidi, and Terrance Patterson. “The Effects of a Parent Guidance Intervention on Communication among Adolescents Who Have Experienced the Sudden Death of a Sibling.” The American Journal of Family Therapy 34.2 (2006): 119-37. Print.

Silverman, Gabriel K, Jeffrey G Johnson, and Holly G Prigerson. “Preliminary Explorations of the Effects of Prior Trauma and Loss on Risk for Psychiatric Disorders in Recently Widowed People.” Israel Journal of Psychiatry and Related Sciences (2001). Print.

Willis, Clarissa A. “The Grieving Process in Children: Strategies for Understanding, Educating, and Reconciling Children’s Perceptions of Death.” Early Childhood Education Journal 29.4 (2002): 221-26. Print.