Reviewer:

Author: Caroline KrystonTitle of essay: Created to be Broken

1. What is the author’s main argument? Was it clear? When relevant, suggest ways that the argument might be improved.

The author presents an argument relating to the use of Dogu dolls by the Jomon people. The argument centers on the basic ways that these people used the dolls not just in their cultural life but also in social, agricultural, and ritual spheres. The argument is developed gradually. In the beginning of the essay, it does not come out very clearly. However, as the paper develops, it becomes increasingly clear what the author intends. I would suggest a more succinct statement of purpose at the end of the first paragraph, followed by a thesis statement that clearly outlines the argument.

2. What is the evidence the author presented?

The author presents a variety of evidences. First, factual timelines are presented relating the time period that saw the Jomon people use the Dogu dolls. Other data relating to how and when these dolls were used is given, including details on these findings and so on. Other evidence provided include images dug up from different sources and ritualistic sites.

3. Was the author’s argument convincing? Is there something in the artwork under discussion that contradicts the claims made? Is there something in the artwork that the author doesn’t write about that might further support the claims made?

The author’s argument centers on presenting evidence of usage including timelines and dates. The structure of the argument for every paragraph is very easy to follow, using a simple topic, evidence, example structure. This makes it very convincing. The author does not make any contradicting claims. The author seems to have done a lot of research on the artwork, making it a very interesting read.

4. Was there anything you did not understand or would like further clarification about? Do you have any questions you would like to ask the author?

The work is well-articulated and easy to follow. What I did not find mentioned is whether the artwork was only used in one region or whether it was spread across cultures. I would like to ask the author whether there is evidence of usage of these dolls elsewhere in the world.

5. Give specific examples of where you thought the essay shined.

The introduction shined. It is excellent. It is well presented and straight to the point. It allows the reader to see exactly what is being discussed and the position that the author takes.

6. Give specific examples for improvement.

The conclusion should be made better. For example, it should be a restatement of the main arguments presented in the essay. It should not introduce new ideas but rather focus on giving a summary of what has already been discussed.