Life Lessons

Jane has been my friend since childhood. I have known her for as long as I can remember. We went to school together, played together, had sleepovers at each other’s houses. There was never any question that she would always be a part of my life. Nothing could come between us. I believed that we had a healthy friendship because we gave each other space but managed to keep our friendship quite strong. We went to different high schools but remained in the same area, so we would hang out frequently. As we grew up, we shared our triumphs and joys. When I felt sad, I would talk to her about whatever was bothering me. She became more than a friend; she was my family. However, something happened that would change our friendship forever.

One weekend just after I joined college, I asked Jane if she would go out to dinner with me. I had not seen her for a while, and I wanted to talk to her about some challenges I was experiencing while transitioning to college life. I knew I could rely on her for honest and sound advice. She told me that she was feeling rather ill so she would not make it. I wished her a quick recovery and told her I hoped we could hang out soon. However, soon after this, I began to notice that something was amiss. Jane stopped taking my calls and took days to respond to my texts. I was quite hurt as this was unlike her, I tried to ask her what the issue was, but she was not forthcoming. It broke my heart to imagine that our friendship was coming to an end, and I had no idea why.

I decided to give Jane some space to work out any issues she might have. I wrote her a text saying that I would be available to talk whenever she was ready. Still, she did not respond to this. After a few weeks, I grew quite concerned and decided to visit Jane’s house where she lived with her parents. I had been there before, but I did not find Jane at home and decided not to pry further. On this particular day, I found Jane’s mother making lunch, and she invited me to join her. Tactfully, I explained what had been going on between Jane and I. Jane’s mother was quite sympathetic and told me that Jane had been going through a hard time.

A few days before, Jane had checked herself into a mental health facility as she had been struggling with a diagnosed mental illness for a few months. I was alarmed, but her mother told me that she was doing well. Jane did not want to burden me with her illness as she was quite unwell, but she wanted to get better before telling me all about it. She knew that I was in a new chapter of my life in college and wanted to give me time to enjoy myself.

I was both relieved and saddened to learn about this. My best friend did not give me the chance to be there for her during a tough moment, and I felt that I had failed her. On the other hand, I was glad that she had taken the proper steps towards recovery. I learned an important lesson from this experience. As humans, we all go through different phases in life that some of our closest friends and family might not identify with. When this happens, we must walk the difficult paths alone and find a solution to our problems. I also learned the importance of giving our loved ones the space that they need to figure out their lives. When Jane felt better, she called me to explain, and I believe that our friendship is stronger than ever.