For homework, I would like you to write an essay following the five-paragraph essay model (formula). Your essay will need to have an introduction with a hook, a three-part thesis statement at the end of your introduction, three supporting paragraphs with topic sentences, and a conclusion. I would like your thesis statements to use the word “because” and serve as a mini-outline for your paper by having three parts. For example, your thesis statement might read “Writing five paragraph essays is boring because (1) no serious subject can be tackled in five paragraphs (2) there are no surprises in the writing and (3) the word “essay” sucks all the joy out of writing! Of course, the above sentence is fatally flawed because these essays must be goofy and make some sort of strange claim. Here’s another example: People should wash their hair with ketchup because (1) the amino acids in ketchup strengthen the hair (2) ketchup is cost effective and (3) the tomato scent sends off powerful pheromones. ***You should also create made-up works cited page for your essay using EasyBib and cite directly from your fictional “sources” at least three times. Make sure your outside quotations are properly integrated using clear signal phrases and parenthetical citations. Try to have fun as we gently transition to more formal essay structure. If you’re still scratching your head about just what five-paragraph essay structure entails, review the “Hazards of Moviegoing” essay we read for class (and maybe try out that ketchup—it’s good for dandruff too).