I never saw my father going into the kitchen when my mother was home except for when my mother went to our relatives for a couple of days. During this time, my father washed dishes by himself. It was clear that my father’s responsibility was making money to support his family and his mother’s responsibility was taking care of her children and doing housework. My father’s other role was as the head of the house and decision-maker. When it was time to buy a house or a car, both of my parents went out to see houses or cars together. however, the final decision was always made by my father. There was no shared role between my father and mother.

I learned how to act like a girl by parents’ teaching. When I wore simple t-shirts and jeans to go out to meet my friends, my mother pointed to my outfits and chose good looking dresses for me. When I spoke loud, my parents pointed out I should speak softly. However, when my brother was talking in a low voice, my father told him “Speak like a man.” My father stressed to my brother that men should be able to play any sports, so he registered some classes for my brothers such as Tae Kwon Do, Judo, Basketball, Baseball, and Track. He did not register for any sports classes for me or my sister. My parents had two sets of expectations and rules and they applied one for my brother and the other for my sister and me. I started having doubts about the practices of maleness and femaleness when my mother started working to support the family. My father quit his work and started his own business. However, it did not go well. My mother looked for a job to help my father. She worked for eight hours a day, came home, and did all house chores the same as when she was a housewife. When I saw my mother dragging her tired body to the kitchen, something in my heart made me very uncomfortable, that was a feeling of unfairness. I did not verbalize my thoughts. instead, I helped my mother with house chores because I was the firstborn child and was a girl.